I’ve been pondering the idea recently of being too safe in life and the consequences of that. I’ve been an overachiever my whole life. While I know that can sound a lot like bragging, but I’m not sure that the phrase doesn’t condemn me more than anything else. The people I’ve always looked up to in life are the ones that took the roads less traveled, that took chances and followed paths that felt right to them. As much as I’ve always admired those people, I feel like I’ve always made the safe choices. At the time, I always tell myself I’m being smart. And yes, the safe options are usually the less risky ones, so in a way that’s probably the case. But more than anything else, I think I’ve just been scared. Scared of what would happen if I did what I really wanted.
I don’t know that I will ever be the type of person who quits my job without another one lined up, who moves across the country or even to another country without any plans and just a sense of adventure. I’m either too scared or too logical, I’m honestly not sure which, to do a lot of those types of things. But I wish I could. I wish I could follow my dreams and take chances in life more than I do.
For me, I think that’s one of the things behind me recording this EP. I’ve always felt like music was what I was supposed to do, my path, but I’ve always been too logical, too scared to do anything about it. I knew college was the more logical choice when I was a teenager. I knew after I graduated that getting a regular 9-5 office job was the more logical choice. But part of me was scared too. Scared that if I did try and fail at music that I would question everything I’ve thought to be true about myself since I was very young. But I’m done being afraid, at least on that front. I want to leave something beautiful out there in the world, something more meaningful than an office job can allow me to create, and I really feel like my music can do that.
What is also great about releasing an EP as an independent artist and working on growing a local following is that I don’t have to give up my logical nature. Not yet, anyway. I can keep my office job, work my music after work and on weekends, and see where it goes. But at least I can say I tried this way, so I won’t look back at a certain age and wonder what could have been. At least I will know.